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My Big Girl Dating Experience

I enjoy occasionally eating out. Occasionally, because I get embarrassed and annoyed at skinny women who sit at a table near me and almost immediately look me up and down. I’m a plus-size girl and when that happens, I instinctively begin looking for the nearest and quickest exit when I’ve finished my meal. That wouldn’t even enter a regular-sized woman’s mind.

I’m not just a “size”. I’m also an accountant, an extrovert, a bargain-shopper and an unbelievably loyal friend. But unfortunately, throughout my life, what’s most visible about me before I even open my mouth is my size. And that’s usually what I’m judged on before ever being given a chance to show who I really am.

I’ve dieted my whole life and can’t remember a time when I wasn’t self-conscious about my weight. I grew up with a mother who told me I was amazing and who said I could accomplish anything I put my mind to. She was very supportive and loving, but when I got into my teens, she started saying that I needed to start losing some weight. She said it would be difficult for me when I began dating.

My high school years were lonely. It seemed my mother was right. All the skinny girls got dates with the popular boys and I was pretty much regarded as “one of the guys”, being that I have such a good “personality”. Dating a big girl never entered their minds. I didn’t date at all in college. I was still overweight and figured, why bother and put myself through more heartache and frustration.

It wasn’t until I was 28 that I decided to seriously start dating. I used bbw dating services to get started with my search for a good man. I worried that maybe men who didn’t fully see my body type, even though I never lied or showed a picture that wasn’t me, wouldn’t be interested in me when they’d finally meet me in person. My fear of this was confirmed when one jerk actually asked me if “there really were guys out there who are attracted to me?”

Friends of mine were setting one another up on dates, but not me. It makes such an obvious statement—that no one would ever find me attractive because of my weight. I guess it’s hard to say to someone, “I have a great girl for you, but she’s fat—are you okay with that?” That makes me extremely uncomfortable and angry.

Yes, there have been times I’ve felt uncomfortable at bars because guys talk to my friends and not me, and if I notice a group of men snickering at me, that’s always an uncomfortable situation. But my size has never stopped me. There’s a misconception that plus-size girls are insecure in their bodies.

When I started on bbw dating sites, I got tons of e-mails. Before that, however, I didn’t know that there were men out there who actually preferred a round body with curves and boobs and a butt and lots of fat. Now I know that the skinny white girl is not the “norm” for all men. Experience, age and understanding that a lot of people are attracted to me because of (or in spite of) my size takes away some of the nervousness I used to feel on dates.

I’ve found someone now who’s given me a new found perspective. He definitely cares about me and truly enjoys spending time with me. He’s opened my eyes to the fact that there are a lot of men out there who prefer plus-size women and that the pool isn’t as small as I thought it was. I feel secure and confident when I’m with him. Life is good!

If you want what I have found, don’t be shy to use an online bbw dating website. There really are men out there who want to be with you and want a relationship with a curvy lady.

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