...where plus-size women find fashion, lifestyle and love tips.

Life Is Good!

“You’re too fat to date.” “You’re pretty… for a big girl.” “No one is ever going to love you until you lose weight.” “What do you expect? You’re fat!” How many of us large, curvy girls have heard these, and many others, throughout our lives? Did I try and ignore it? Yes, I tried. Did it make me cry? Absolutely! But overall, those words helped me become the person I am today: a strong, independent woman who’s ready for love. Thankfully, I found a way to “find” love through an online dating service largeandlovely.com. The men I’ve been matched with are looking for large, curvy women so I don’t have to endure that “first judgmental look” when we meet for the first time. Our dates have been so fun and exciting!

I’ve never been skinny. Ever! I never cared about my weight until people made it a “thing” by pointing me out in public. Let’s go back in time for a second… imagine being 9 years old, dealing with the already-present pressures of “growing up,” and having a classroom full of children oink at you. Even at such a young age, size mattered to some people. When I started public school for the first time, I quickly learned that image is everything. It didn’t matter that I was a good soccer goalie, that I sang beautifully at my audition for the school musical, or that I got a perfect score on my vocabulary test. I was fat and that’s all the other kids noticed. I had no face — just a big butt.

I’ll admit that my poor fashion choices probably didn’t help: blue leopard tops and flowers in my hair — I wasn’t exactly flying under the radar. I figured my personality would get me through, but I was wrong. I wasn’t cool enough to be invited to parties, thin enough to have a boyfriend, and to top it off, I was sad all of the time. I thought, “Surely when I’m an adult, things will change.”

I was so wrong! When I got older, the oinks turned into resounding questions like, “are you going to eat all of that?” I stopped wanting to eat in public thanks to the too many stares. I hardly wanted to go out, either. I was passed over for roles I auditioned for because I didn’t have the “right” look. I didn’t get promoted at work because “I couldn’t handle it.” No one wanted to date me. I once had a guy tell me that he liked me, but he had never been with someone “my size” and “what if I’m turned off by your body.” Wait… am I still in high school?

After getting laid off from my job, I gained 100 pounds. I never noticed because if something didn’t fit, I bought the next size, no questions asked. Someone took a picture of me at a party and when I saw it on the social media, I cried. I quickly looked at old pictures and realized that I was never fat. I was just more shapely than the other girls. At almost 380 pounds, now I was fat. I stopped and thought about all the time and emotions I wasted being depressed. I let the world around me dictate who I am, and how I should look.

From that moment on, “fat” didn’t mean anything. It was just a word. I lost all the weight I had gained and then some. I gained the love for myself that I never had and spread this same love to every woman whose path I crossed. I tell strangers that their hair looks nice or that their smile brightens the room because those simple comments might make their whole day and who’s going to stop me? My experiences taught me that we spend too much time bashing what we hate, or don’t understand, instead of promoting what we love.

Now, life is much, much better. I get a lot of respect at work. I have an amazing circle of friends. I go on lots of dates (take that, dude who said he might be turned off by my body!). Dating the men I meet through largeandlovely.com keeps my social calendar full and fun! And most importantly, I feel more beautiful than I’ve ever felt. This “fat girl” loves herself… every curve and every stretch mark. I welcome each day with my head held high and a smile on my face. And you know what? I am going to eat that!

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