...where plus-size women find fashion, lifestyle and love tips.

In Can Relate!

It seems that the new series Big Women: Big Love, on the Lifetime channel may not actually be as misleading as it sounds. Yes, it’s a dating show that’s focused entirely on plus-size women, and yes, it indulges in a few lame “big” puns, but there’s actually a lot to be hopeful about here. First of all, it seems to have generated hearing a lot of testimonials from the plus-sized women themselves. I think hearing feedback goes a long way — there are so few plus-size women who are in the public eye, especially ones who are seen as young and sexy. One of the most empowering things a show can do is give a previously unheard population a voice.  I, for one, applaud the effort!

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I’m a plus-sized woman who has spent my entire life feeling inadequate and invisible, unless I’m in public in which case, I’m very much “visible” by others. That doesn’t make dating an easy task. We ladies are all beautiful and judging from the preview of the show, are very sought after. We’re just looking for a perfect match like anyone else, not desperate for any match. Reality TV rarely gets into the business of making genuine love connections, but that doesn’t mean that Big Women: Big Love has any ulterior motives to be offensive to the plus-size community.

What strikes me as the most interesting (and true) aspect of this show is how the women are struggling to balance the line between men who are really interested in them and men who fetishize their bodies. In my experience, when meeting someone, the first thing I see is the looks on their faces when they see my body. It feels like their whole “first impression” of me immediately changes and is clearly headed towards “see ya later”! Being attracted to someone is very different than only seeing their physical attributes when you look at them. No one wants to start a relationship with someone who only sees you as an object, of any type.

Dating as a plus-sized woman is very difficult. A show like Big Women: Big Love, for me, at least gives me hope that there really are men out there, and just people in general, who are interested in the “inner”, beautiful person that I am rather than just “ruling me out” based on my physical appearance. There is so much more to plus-sized women – interesting interests, values, accomplishments, ideas…the list goes on. No differently than the size 2 women out there who “open the door” just by walking into the room! This Lifetime show is more than interesting. It’s a show we large and lovely women can relate to.

I would advise any plus-sized women out there to tune into this show, and not just for entertainment purposes. I’m sure you’ll get the same thing out of it that I do. A show that portrays real large, curvy women who face the same obstacles we all do in the non-show dating world. Putting your voices with many others, in the way of feedback, does have a way of “empowering” ourselves and maybe even helps to “erase” some of the torment we’ve suffered throughout our lives, not to mention the dating experiences we’ve all suffered through. A little empowerment goes a long way! (lol)  

Change and opinions about ourselves can’t happen unless we begin to believe in ourselves and see ourselves as vibrant women who have a lot to offer the right person. Firmly believing that will “shine through” to the man sitting across from you. I think that’s what this show is all about. I hope you find it as interesting as I did!

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