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Dating Can Be Hard If You’re Big

In my late teen and early adult life, I couldn’t get a real date to save my life. I naturally assumed that nearly all of the reasons why were based on my size and I used my eating as a shield against getting rejected. When you’re overweight, you fall back on all kinds of reasons why dating sucks. Such as; “Men are just jerks! They won’t even look at you if you’re not a size 2!”. Or my favorite: “Whatever! I just want a man to value ME for ME, and not judge me on how I look.”

But let’s be real here. Let’s call a spade a spade. If you’re overweight and single, it can feel like, what’s the use? The best you can hope for is to “settle” for whoever will have you. Right?…WRONG!

Dating while being overweight isn’t a curse sentencing you to be stuck being single. I found this to be true when I made the decision to start a serious search for love using bbw dating sites. I discovered that there are men out there who truly want to find love, too, regardless of “size”. And for added intrigue, here are some guidelines I discovered and used for curvy women in my dating life that I’d like to share which led to one hell of a man putting a ring on my finger!

There is nothing more unattractive than playing the martyr or damsel in distress. The mind is a marvelous thing. If you think your weight is a real factor to your not getting dates then, guess what? You’re right! Not because a man told you so, not because COSMO said so – but because you’ve convinced yourself that you’re just too fat for love.

Don’t fall into the trap that your body image hang-ups are how others see you. If body acceptance is a real struggle for you, it’s important that you work through that before beginning to date seriously. You’ll just end up bringing your insecurities into the relationship and that’s just a recipe for disaster. Everyone has insecurities, but knowing how to manage and work through your own issues is a major factor in successful dating.


The internet is amazing. I fell in
love the moment I typed in “bbw dating” for the first time. But with the internet’s awesomeness, the cloak of deception also emerged. Anyone who wants to dip into online dating must follow the golden rule: never lie about your appearance! If you’re dating honestly, you need to be open and honest about who you are because that is the solid foundation of any relationship. If you’re lying about how you look, what’s going to happen if/when you finally get to meet face-to-face? You’ll feel unnecessary anxiety and probably rejection — but not because of how you look necessarily, but because you damaged their trust. Yes, it’s scary to be that open, but putting the real you out there can mean only one thing: people will also positively respond to the real you and that will give you the huge boost of confidence that you’ll need.

Sometimes overweight women are pushovers and overly agreeable in an effort to be accepted. They think that if they are overly nice and accommodating, people will love them and accept them more. What ends up happening, though, is a feeling of being taken advantage of and not being respected.

Setting boundaries and being seen as controlling are NOT the same thing. Setting boundaries is grounded in acting with confidence and grace. Being controlling, out of fear of being taken advantage of, only causes a false sense of normal. But at the end of the day, if you’re dating someone who isn’t respectful, considerate, or honoring you, it’s sending the message that it’s okay to settle for less than the best. You deserve way more than that, so let people show you how well they can treat you.

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