...where plus-size women find fashion, lifestyle and love tips.

Be Successful in Online Dating

According to statistics approximately 40 percent of adult Americans are overweight. According to ‘society’, however, most of the people who fall in love tend to be thin and good-looking. Evidence shows us that people of all shapes and sizes meet and fall in love. You only have to take a trip to your local mall to see overweight people holding hands, strolling and shopping. And yet, when overweight people enter the bbw dating scene, they are often overwhelmed by feelings of being unlovable and unattractive to others. It’s a feeling that overwhelmingly undermines a person’s confidence — one of the qualities that is essential to attraction. You have to accept yourself for the beautiful person you are.

Overweight daters should have “unshakeable confidence”, advises Rachel Russo, a New York City-based dating, relationship and image coach (www.RachelRusso.com). “The overweight single must not be apologetic for his/her weight but should rather embrace it, and realize that a person’s weight does not have to impact someone’s self-worth — and the ability to love and be loved.”

The 64 thousand dollar question is how does someone gain that confidence in a world that tells us “thin is in” everywhere you look? Here are some ideas from experts on body image, self-esteem and plus-size fashion in the bbw dating world.

1. Self-acceptance

In order to have confidence, you have to accept yourself for the beautiful person you are. Not everyone will like you — but this is OK! You will not be attracted to every person, so don’t expect to be attractive to everyone you meet either. Just keep in mind that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but ultimately, you have to accept yourself for who you are — curves and all!

Every time you see your reflection in the mirror or a window, affirm to yourself: I am beautiful. Say it aloud or in your head. Try adding things like I am sexy, I am gorgeous, I am fabulous. It may sound silly or make you feel funny at first, but it works if you repeat and believe it.

2. Don’t assume that others see you as unattractive

We all make assumptions about what other people find attractive. Let go of assumptions. What do you perceive as negative about your looks? Do you think you can’t wear certain things? Do you assume that some people, based on their looks or background, won’t be interested in you? Throw that thinking out and practice living without them. It will open up worlds! BBW dating sites are great for this because you are already on a platform that is solely for the plus sized population of singles and admirers.

3. Be true when posting photos of yourself online

While you may be tempted to post online pictures of yourself from years gone by when you may have been a few pounds lighter and younger, it’s better to fight the urge. Only post photos with your online bbw dating profile that are both flattering and truly representative of your actual appearance today. Post several recent photos that show how you really look.

Another thing is using overly flattering images or somewhat risque that could lead to some embarrassing and disappointing situations. You don’t want a prospective suitor to want to meet you just because he thinks you are ‘easy’ and all you are looking for is a sexcapade. Those types of photos also tend to bring out the ‘creepy’ guys which you want to avoid at all costs.

4. Write your self-descriptions in a positive way

When writing your description of yourself in your online profile, use words that you feel good about and can truly identify with. There are a lot of terms within the bbw dating community that you could use — fluffy, more to love, full-figured, fat, voluptuous, curvy, etc. Choose whichever you are most comfortable with and can identify best with. It will come across as natural and your profile will be sincere and positive.

5. Don’t be afraid of rejection

Keep in mind that rejection is just a part of the dating process, not just bbw dating. Everyone gets rejected regardless of size. It’s important to remind yourself that rejection happens to everyone. It’s just part of dating although beit not a pleasant part. If you’re always blaming your size for dating woes, it’s time to stop. The answer is to date more, not less. Rejection hurts a lot less when you have a date lined up for the next night.

6. Accentuate the positive

Experts agree that focusing on your best assets is one way to take the attention off the parts you don’t like as much. If you’re new to the body acceptance game, there’s probably some part of you that you like. Maybe it’s your eyes, or your hands, or your cleavage. Accentuate that part with makeup, clothing, or jewelry.

You should take the focus off your weight and onto style and fashion sense. There is a lot to consider when creating an image that will attract love, and you should pay extra attention to all elements of your appearance. Of course, women have more options with hair, makeup, clothing and accessories, but men these days have a lot to choose from as well. The most important things to consider when purchasing clothing, products, or image-related services are fit and color. In order to have a good appearance, you must develop an understanding of which colors go together and which clash. With a little trial and error you’ll be able to match everything from skin and hair tones to lipstick shades and shirt colors.

7. Dress for dating success

Dressing for a date shouldn’t be any different than dressing up for any other event. Make sure you are comfortable and be yourself. These two will allow your confidence to be at its best. Being dressed in something that’s comfortable and that makes you feel good shows in your body posture, your walk, and in your eyes — all of which are things that engage others in a positive way. We live in a very visual world that can quickly judge someone by the way we look on the outside.

The one thing that trumps any style choice or item of clothing when it comes to feeling more attractive is being confident. When you feel good by wearing an outfit that fits properly and that reflects your true personal style you look good. This combination of looking and feeling good has the potential to boost anyone’s self-esteem!

Take these tips and apply them when using a bbw dating website or dating in general and you will be well on your way to finding the right mate and have fun in the process.

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