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BBW DATING – RELATIONSHIP KILLERS

As a plus-size woman, I’ve had failed relationship experiences that I’ve come to realize were, at times, in part my doing. I was guilty of some of the following tips and after realizing this, I’ve become more aware of my behavior with men and have had much better results in the dating world once I began working on the following tips. I tested this out when joining an online bbw dating service and have had very exciting and fun dates compared to my previous dating life.

I’d like to share the following top 10 reasons that I’ve come to realize are relationship killers and hope they’ll help anyone who may be able to relate to any of them.

10. Family & Friends

This is a popular problem. Your family and friends have been a part of your life long before he stepped into the picture, so if your new love isn’t happy about you hanging out with them, and friends can’t seem to get along with him, then chances are this will be a relationship killer. If either of you is giving an ultimatum to the other to choose between your relationship with friends and family, you may not be their first choice. You might want to re-think the relationship.

9. Moving Too Fast

There’s a fine line between “love” and “infatuation” and only time will tell which it is once the “infatuation” wears off. And that takes time! Some whirlwind romances end up in the storybook happily-ever-after while a majority, however, sadly end up in divorce. If you’re moving too quickly, there’s the danger, too, of not knowing the other person well enough to stick it out and hope for “forever”. Also, your partner may not be on the same page as quickly as you and you can end up scaring them off. Take your time getting to know each other on every level and just enjoy the time you have together without the “hidden agendas”.

8. Lose The Drama

Day-to-day life can be taxing on relationships. Financial problems, work issues, not spending enough time together, and daily routines can easily become strains on any relationship. Addictions, unpleasant habits, constant fault-finding, and regular tiffs just add to relationship killers. Choose your partner wisely, looking for common interests, etc, to minimize these types of problems. A strong partner with common interests is more likely to lovingly stick it out with you during these types of difficulties. Often, meeting and finding men with common interests is best accomplished by using an online bbw dating service since interests are usually listed on profiles and, hopefully, confirmed on first dates.

7. The Control Freak

Trying to control your partner is not only disrespectful to the other person (thinking they can’t think or function without you “ruling” them), but it’s a sure relationship killer. If one of you is intent on controlling the other person’s life and wants to know every move, you’re in for a rocky road. No adult likes being told what to do all the time (not great for their self-esteem, either), so if the controlling behavior doesn’t end, the relationship is likely to end.

6. Too Dependent Or Independent

Being too dependent on your partner for everything is a relationship no-no, so coming across as a “damsel in distress” who needs to be “rescued” is very unhealthy for a relationship. Everyone has baggage of some sort, but adding your baggage to his will only “break the camel’s back” at some point and will result in the relationship ending and feelings hurt. Be a “partner” rather than a “child” who needs supervision.

On the other hand, women who are so afraid of being controlled in a relationship that they feel the need to assert their independence at every step are going about that the wrong way. Giving into this fear, always insisting on doing everything alone and emphasizing that you don’t need anyone, will translate to: “I don’t need a partner/relationship”. A “mutual” relationship can’t grow in this type of environment. Your partner needs to feel needed, just as you do, so allow him to demonstrate that.

5. Watch What You Say

Be a lady! Petty remarks, snide comments, obscenities, name-calling, and heated below-the-belt slanders are, again, disrespectful and demeaning to your partner and will be a definite relationship killer. Show him you have “class”. After all, this is the man you’re trying to build a relationship with. Making this type of behavior a part of your relationship means your respect for him and the relationship is dead and before long he’ll see that, too.

4. The Third Wheel

There is no room for a third wheel in a relationship. A third wheel can be an ex (big no-no!), a persistent suitor who’s interested in you or your partner, a best friend, a demanding boss, parents, etc. If a third person is a permanent fixture in your relationship time together, then the relationship takes a back seat. It’s just a matter of time before the relationship slowly gets the boot. Make the effort to show your partner that he’ll always be #1 in your life and spend more time with him than with that third wheel.

3. Past, Present And Future

The past is the past and has no place in a “present” relationship. While it’s ok to give a brief overview on the first date (someone always asks about this!) as to what you’ve both experienced in past relationships – this gives each other a kind of “what I want now” preference that may determine if there will be future dates – it’s not ok to constantly bring up the past. Let it go! If you can’t let go of the past, you may not be ready for a lasting relationship.

That being said, focusing too much on the future in a new and ongoing relationship more so than the present can also kill a relationship, especially if one is more focused on the future than the other. The present takes a back seat in this scenario when you’re supposed to just be getting to know each other while the infatuation wears off and love begins (if we’re lucky). Also, if each partner has different goals and ideas for the future, then this may not be the right relationship for you.

Again, using a bbw dating service’s profile can be helpful in finding men who have similar plans for the relationship they, too, are looking for and will aid with you both being on the same page going in.

2. Lack Of Communication

This is a bigee! Lack of proper communication often means no one really knows, or cares, what’s going on with each other and the relationship will eventually just fizzle out, and usually with hard feelings. Communication is so important in a healthy relationship and is the essential key in eliminating misunderstandings. Stop waiting for your man to guess what you’re feeling. They can’t guess or read your mind. Just tell him!

1. Cheating

Without a doubt, this is the #1 one killer of relationships. Most relationships end the moment one partner finds out they’ve been cheated on. Betrayal is probably the most difficult to get over and makes it difficult for the one cheated on to trust again. Even if some do try to forgive, the trust is gone and most relationships don’t end up working out.

Whether or not you’re in a relationship, hopefully, these tips will be helpful in knowing what not to do to commit relationship suicide. It’ll take a little work, but the reward is worth it!

One Response to BBW DATING – RELATIONSHIP KILLERS

  1. my x was 330-350 lbs and i knew here for 10+ years, then we got together, after 3 more years we had a baby, 2 more years and everything was good, then we moved to the city where her family lived, she started to spend less and less time at home, and more at her mother. her family never treated her good and always picked on her weight, but she was not really “Fat” she was big boned. any-ways she left me and kidnapped our son. i found out after going threw her medical papers she hid from me that she had a list of mental issues that i did not nor any of our mutual friends knew about. before we meet she had just stooped her mental medication and was also let out from a mental ward.
    her family messed her up that bad. i just thought she was exaggerating when she told me story’s about her family. now i am left fighting the courts to get my son away from her till she gets the help she needs. i love her, but not what she did. she should have been more forthcoming with me, we talked about everything, but she feared rejection so bad that she bottled it up inside and hid it. leaving me and our son in pieces.
    TALK ABOUT IT.

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